Why Do We Care?

Unless you live under a rock, didn't turn on a television yesterday, or simply don't give a hoot about baseball, you probably heard about Phillip Humber's perfect game yesterday. If not, here's the box score. Notice the team that managed to put exactly ZERO runners on base. Yes, that is my beloved Seattle Mariners. The M's managed to do what only 20 professional baseball lineups have done before them. They put on a masterful display in the art of ineptitude. On April 21, 2012, the Seattle Mariners joined 20 other lineups in history as being 100% incapable of doing what they are getting paid to do. The Mariners' offense is bad. We know this. Hell, I've been waiting for the M's to get no-hit for years, but this was bad.

It was not a pretty sight yesterday evening when I got a Twitter message (yup, I Tweet), saying "Phil humber just perfect gamed your mariners at safeco." At first I was upset. His favorite team just bent my favorite team over a chair and had its way, and I would certainly rub his face in it if the situation were reversed. But one part of his brief, but oh so hurtful, message was the part that reads "YOUR mariners." Since when are they my Mariners? Why do I feel the need to share in their embarrassment? I didn't just strike out 9 times and draw 0 walks against a man who has had reconstructive surgery and has never pitched a complete game, nonetheless a no-hitter. The Seattle Mariners are the ones who screwed up, not me.

I thought about that for a while. How is it that we the people can become so emotionally involved in something that we have almost no control over? Literally nothing I do today is going to help Michael Saunders not suck at hitting baseballs. Literally nothing I do today is going to alter what players the Mariners are going to put on the field tonight. No matter how loud I scream for them to win today, they won't hear me. Yet, it still kills me a little inside every time a man I'll never meet blows a save or strikes out.

It's not just baseball, and it's not just me. Almost every fan of a professional sports team in this world shares my plight. Sometimes it feels like you care more than the people on the field. I can't tell you how frustrated I've been when it seems like I'm a bigger Pacer fan than the head coach. I find myself thinking, over and over, things like "How can you make that call?" "How can you not dive after that ball?" "How can you drop that pass?" "How can you do that to ME?" If you're a true fan, you know that feeling inside of you as your starting Left Tackle misses an "easy" block and you want to jump through the TV and make a play to save your QB. In reality, there are probably 10 people on Earth that I'd try to stop a 300 LB man from pummeling, but when I watch sports, I'm ready to take a bullet for my team. A team I don't play for, full of men I don't know.

I'm not a brain doctor, so I can't even come close to telling you why people choose to let themselves get so attached to something that they aren't a part of. I can tell you that the love people have for their teams, be it the hometown team or one across an ocean, is very real. We know this because of how we feel after a game, whether it was a win or a loss. All the disappointment, anger, depression, and occasional embarrassment being brought on by situations that you can't control is worth it when you get to swell with pride and approval when they win. I don't regret it one bit. It's why we love sports.

Kill The Head, The Body Will Die

Almost all sports are designed so that the biggest, strongest, fastest person, who can hit others the hardest, wins. To score a point in today's sporting world, there's an exceedingly good chance that you're going to have to lower your shoulder and deliver the BOOM. Man on man action is what our sporting world has become. Check it:

-In baseball it's not uncommon for the catcher to be a sitting duck while a runner tries to hit him so hard that he drops the ball.

-In hockey it's stupid to expect to get a shot off without being knocked around.

-A fast break layup in the NBA is two men racing to the rim and whoever goes at it hardest gets the reward.

-Lacrosse players can't go three seconds before a metal stick is pounding their legs and arms.

-Footballers (soccer players) have to watch their ankles when the ball's on the ground, and hope they don't get concussed when they sky for a header.

I'm not claiming that I dislike these aspects of sport. I'm not too naive to think that people watch NASCAR because they love seeing cars go by so fast you freak. No, it's because they hope they'll see the big pile up. We're human beings. For some reason we love to see people try to hurt other people.

Despite our collective thirst for blood, there needs to be a line drawn somewhere. This isn't Rollerball, people. American tackle football is probably the nastiest, most violent mainstream sport there is. Every single play there are eleven freakishly strong men attempting to wrestle another freakishly strong man to the ground with so much force that he drops the ball. While those eleven men are pursuing the ball carrier, there are 10 blockers trying to hit the pursuers as hard as possible, so they are unable to lay a lick on the ball carrier. What the hell kinda anarchic game do we support, you guys?

I'll tell you what kind of game we support. We support a beautiful game. Yes, there's violence. Yes, there's injuries. But football is so much more than that. It's a highly cerebral game that, in order to be done right, takes countless hours of preparation, strategy, and practice. What we see on Saturday and Sunday afternoons is the product of many men's hard word work behind the scenes to prepare the superfreak athletes for competition. When people keep all this in mind, they should truly be able to watch the orchestrated violence and enjoy.

Sadly, sometimes people try to ruin a good thing by trying to take advantage of the rules. American football is a game that allows men to hit each other as hard as they physically can, but the rules have guidelines of how and where to hit other players. While the rules attempt to keep people safe, the basic fundamentals of this game are hitting people, which will lead to injuries.

Because football has such a thin line between what is legal and illegal and safe and unsafe, it is of the utmost importance that the way the game is taught is in a clean manner. This is why the situation currently occurring in New Orleans is so troublesome. Gregg Williams ex-Defensive Coordinator reportedly started a bounty program for his players. Essentially Williams was giving his players incentive to hurt the other team for cash rewards. Initially I was skeptical that we were being given all the information. It just seems stupid to me that someone would have an idea like that in the NFL-- the most public professional sports league in America. I also didn't understand why rich athletes would need a cash incentive to hurt people when the game they're paid legally to play allows them to attempt to hurt people.

Until recently I thought the media was blowing Williams' actions out of proportion. But yesterday I read this article. If you're not the reading type (I assume you are because this is paragraph 7), I'll pull the important info for you. A filmmaker was following around the Saints for a documentary. Before their Wild Card matchup against the 49ers, Williams had some disturbing instructions for his players. Apparently his main motto is "Kill the head and the body will die." Uhh, what? Who the hell is this guy? Let us continue with some choice quotage:

-On how to get toQB Alex Smith, "Every single one of you, before you get off the pile, affect the head. Early, affect the head. Continue, touch and hit the head."

-On RB Frank Gore ,"We've got to do everything in the world to make sure we kill Frank Gore's head. We want him running sideways. We want his head sideways."

-On Kyle Williams, "We need to find out in the first two series of the game, that little wide receiver, No. 10, about his concussion. We need to f------ put a lick on him right now. He needs to decide. He needs to f------ decide."

Those are just remarks about hitting the head. He also instructed his players to try to tear Michael Crabtree's ACL, and to bend Vernon Davis' ankles over the piles. That's just disgusting. I'm all about playing hard. Hell, I'm all about trying to knock a guy out of the game, if it's legal. There's no reason to play dirty to hurt people when the rules say you can lower your shoulder and hit him as hard as you physically can. What happened in New Orleans is embarrassing and they got what they deserved (Williams is suspended indefinitely, Head Coach Sean Payton misses a whole year, and the team loses two second round draft picks.)

In sports my motto has always been play hard, play physical, play fair. Many people are arguing that the filmmaker who released the audio is out of line in doing so. He says he did it to warn parents of what kind of message might be sent to their children. I commend this man for doing what he thinks is right, despite the pressure from the Saints and the NFL.

AL Beast

I know this seems late, but really, the season has only kinda started. Nobody besides me and the city of Oakland care about what happened last week in Japan. Two bad teams are 1-1. Tonight is when the season really gets underway. St. Louis is going against the new look Miami Marlins. Conveniently, no team from the AL East is partaking in baseball competitions tonight, so this is still pertinent, preseason information. So let's look at this traditionally dominant division.

AL East

Baltimore Orioles

(2011 Record 69-93)

2011 could have gone a lot better for the O's. They had the 3rd worst record in the AL, and were 12 games behind the next team in the division. Unlike the Twins and Mariners, the only 2 teams worse, they had to play like 80 games against the rest of the AL East. That just aint fair. There is some hope in the lineup, though not enough to expect much more than a little increase in wins. Adam Jones is a star CF, with 30/30 potential. Matt Weiters is turning into one of the top Catchers in the world. JJ Hardy and Mark Reynolds strike out a lot and hit a lot of homeruns, which is kind of a fair trade. The O's will be dragged down by their pitching. There's not a lot of promise in the rotation. Brian Matusz was a top prospect, but fizzled out. All-in-all, this team is going to be screwed for a long time. Mostly because of who they get to play against for half of their games.

Toronto Blue Jays

(2011 Record 81-81)

In 2011, the Jays could straight rake. Runs weren't really a problem. Quite frankly, there weren't a whole lot of problems with this club in 2011. The biggest thing that held this team back in 2011 was their competition. Being .500 in this division is quite an accomplishment. Jose Bautista is one of the best hitters in the MLB. He led the league in HR in 2010 and 2011, but lacked the strikeout rates of other power hitters. Colby Rasmus fire burnin in the outfield. Adam Lind has his moments and Kelly Johnson has had some productive seasons. The pitchers aren't bad either. Ricky Romero is solid, boasting a sub-3 ERA over 225 IP last year. Brandon Morrow was a top 10 pick (by the Mariners) and is starting to turn into one of the better pitchers in the league. The bullpen is deep, but lacks a stud arm. Too bad this team has to compete with 3 of the better teams in the Majors. But they got Colby Rasmus. So there's that.

Boston Red Sox

(2011 Record 90-72)

The BoSox, to the surprise of absolutely nobody, led the league in almost every baseball hitting category. That was with Carl Crawford providing roughly half the value he was expected to provide. I would be surprised is he triple slashed .255/.289/.405 with only 18 SB. That will be more like .280/.320/.460 with 35 SB this year. Add that to the MVP numbers that Jacoby Ellsbury and Adrian Gonzalez should put up. Dustin Pedroia already has an MVP award at 2B. David Ortiz never seems to be anything short of amazing despite his usual slow start. Kevin Youkilis is fragile, but a great 3B. Obviously scoring runs won't be the big issue in Boston. If they led the league in runs, but failed to make the playoffs, the pitching has to be bad, right? Not especially. Jon Lester, err Cancer Survivor Jon Lester, is a Cy Young candidate. Clay Buckholz might finally start to succeed in the Majors, and Josh Beckett was brilliant on occasion last year. They replaced Jonathon Papelbon with Andrew Bailey. Contrary to popular belief, this might be a pretty equal swap. There's really no glaring weakness on this team, which kills me a little bit because I absolutely hate this franchise.

New York Yankees

(2011 record 97-65)

The Yanks had the best record in the AL in 2011, which is something that the Yankees expect every year. With buckets of money to throw at people, it's not hard for the Yankees to fill any hole with the best free agent available. They were second in the Majors in runs scored, right behind Boston. The difference maker for this team was the pitching staff. The starting lineup this year could be an All Star team. ARod, Granderson, Teixeira, Swisher, Gardner, Cano, Ibanez. That's a lot of good hitters. Derek Jeter still starts in New York, which is puzzling. Yes, he's a Hall of Famer, and the city is in love with him, but he's not what he used to be. He's starting to lose his bat, and he's been the worst fielding SS in the AL for some time now. Last week espn.com asked SportsNation "Is Derek Jeter still an elite player?" and 66% of the people said yes. I thought that question would have been dumb in 2007. Check this. People are just dumb, you guys. Anyway, the pitching isn't bad this year. CC Sabathia is one of the best pitchers in the league, and Hiroki Kuroda is old, but still a good pitcher. The starting rotation needs a little help, but the bullpen is solid and Mariano Rivera is as good as ever. Don't be surprised if the Yankees lead the AL in wins again.

Tampa Bay Rays

(2011 Record 91-71)

The Rays made the playoffs on the very last day of the season in 2011. Their strong finish, coupled with Boston's historic collapse, was just enough to squeak into the postseason. This year, though, there will be no squeaking. 2012 might be the best Tampa squad that's ever been assembled, which is saying something considering they were in the World Series in 2008. Let's start with the lineup. Evan Longoria is an MVP candidate at 3B. Desmond Jennings was one of the top prospects in baseball and lived up to the hype over the last 2 months of 2011. Ben Zobrist is just a useful guy. He is always one of the league leaders in WAR. Matt Joyce was an early MVP favorite in 2011, but leveled off at the midway point. They should score enough runs with those 4 to win a lot of games because of how amazing this pitching staff is. I know I said the Angels had the best staff in the league, but the Rays have the best rotation. Listen to these names: David Price (Started for the AL in the All Star game in 2010), James Shields (2.82 ERA over 250 IP, with 132 ERA+), Matt Moore (#1 pitching prospect in all of baseball), Jeremy Hellickson (13-10, with a sub-3 ERA as a 24 year old rookie), and Jeff Niemann (6'9" with great command. Best #5 starter in the league). That's 4 stars and 1 above average thrower. The bullpen can be improved, but isn't bad enough to bring the whole team down. Expect big big things in Tampa in 2012.

Overall, this is the best division in baseball. Three teams could win the division, and the World Series. Don't be surprised if the 2 teams that don't win the division play in the new Wild Card play-in game. Feel bad for the other two teams because it doesn't matter how hard they try, they aren't going to play more than 162 games.

Projections

1. Rays- I just can't get over how good the pitchers are in Tampa. It's too much for the Yanks and Sox to overcome. Runs are going to be valuable, but they'll come. Luckily, this team is built around solid starting pitching and good fielding. Know what else is built on starters and fielders? Championships.

2. Red Sox- They led the league in runs, without Carl Crawford's help, and started the season like 1-9, but still managed to lose the Wild Card on the last day. I'd expect them to be even better, and to get out of the gates better. That should be enough to overcome the Yankees.

3. Yankees- Sure, they'll score a lot of runs, but they don't have a starting rotation. I don't mean they have a bad rotation, I mean they don't actually have 5 starters right now. This is a problem that won't be fixed immediately.

4. Blue Jays- They might win 65% of their games against the rest of the AL, but they can't change the fact that they have to play those top 3 teams a lot. The only chance Toronto has of making the playoffs any time soon is moving to the AL Central, or bombing Fenway Park. I vote the latter.

5. Orioles- Poor guys. It's gonna be rough having to trot out onto that field everyday expecting to lose. When they look over into the opponents dugout, they're gonna feel overmatched. I love the city of Baltimore, but that cool aquarium isn't gonna attract good players to the Orioles.

AL Central

Normally I don't blog a blog on the weekends, but I'm feeling frisky on this fine Sunday (I know this eventually came out Monday. I got sleepy. Get off my back.) Got a little extra pep in my step tonight, you guys. Today has been a big day for me. I got the Taco Skillet at the Forum, which may be the last restaurant to ban smoking in America. After brunch, I had the draft for my fantasy baseball league. Now, this is not your ordinary league of fantasy players. This is a competitive league. This is no holds barred fake competition. As the season heats up, it gets testy. Let's just say there's some pretty harshly worded comments on the league message board. Allegiances have been broken. Friendships have been questioned. Wives have been swapped. Lady and gentlemen, the all too real world of not real sports is not for the feint of heart.

I could go on all day about my team, but you came here for information about actual professional baseball teams. You know, the ones comprised of human beings getting compensated monetarily for their athletic efforts on the field. Today we'll be taking a gander at the AL Central. No team is going to win the AL regular season, but there's teams here that could win a postseason series given the right circumstances. Let us begin.

AL Central

Chicago White Sox

(2011 Record 79-83)

I've sat here for 5 minutes and can't think of what to say about the White Sox. They're a very forgettable team. It's not that the ChiSox are bad, it's that the club lacks excitement. A middle of the road team last year, and destined to be a middle of the road team this year, the White Sox aren't going to change very soon. Paul Konerko is still good, but he's getting old. Yet, he had 31 HR and 105 RBI at the age of 35. The rest of the infield is young and getting better. Gordon Beckham could be an All Star. The outfield will look quite different this year. The only returning player is Alex Rios, which I'm sure doesn't really instill confidence in Chicago fans. The starting rotation lost long-time ace Mark Buehrle, but John Danks, Gavin Floyd, and Phillip Humber are all at their prime age, and should be a little better this year. Matt Thornton was supposed to be a dominant closer last year, but flamed out. He's getting a second chance because folks say he's got nasty stuff. I wouldn't know because, again, nobody cares about the White Sox. This team could win almost 90 games if Jake Peavy and Adam Dunn perform like they have in the past. Don't count on that, though.

Cleveland Indians

(2011 Record 80-82)

The Indians got second place in this division in 2011, with a losing record. That's pretty awful. I don't think the Indians will have a winning record this year, and I doubt they'll finish second again. The fact of the matter is the Indians don't have very many good people this year. Catcher Carlos Santana is an on base machine. He only has a .239 BA, but his OBP is .351. That's a helluva difference. SS Asdrubal Cabrera hit 25 HR last year, but he only had 12 in his first 4 seasons. A jump like that would be hard to duplicate, and Cabrera should regress back to non-superhuman status. Jason Kipnis has a fun name and is a dark horse rookie of the year candidate at second base. Justin Masterson leads a below average pitching staff. Ubaldo Jimenez has been brilliant before, and could possibly regain that great stuff. The bullpen isn't that crappy, and Chris Perez is a pretty competent closer.

They also have the ugliest man in baseball: Shelley Duncan.

Detroit Tigers

(2011 Record 95-67)

Ran away with the division in 2011, winning by 15 games over the Indians. This team could throw and hit baseballs better than almost every team in the AL last year. And they got even better in the off season. Albert Pujols wasn't the only huge name swapping teams this year. Prince Fielder signed a monster contract to play 1B in Detroit, moving MVP candidate Miguel Cabrera to third. Cabrera has been one of the best hitters in the league for years now, and is still getting better. 2B Ryan Raburn is sneaky good, and Brendon Boesch should surprise some people. He'll benefit from having Prince and Cabrera batting behind him. If he gets on base, he'll score runs. One of the main reasons Miguel Cabrera didn't win the MVP in 2011 is because his teammate did. Stating Pitcher Justin Verlander won both the AL Cy Young and MVP awards last year. He went 24-5 with a 2.40 ERA and won the pitching triple crown. They stole Doug Fister from my Mariners and he was nothing short of amazing for Detroit. The bullpen could use another solid arm, but it isn't bad. The Tigers shouldn't have a problem winning the division. The important thing for this team is to get the pieces in place by October to compete for the World Series.

Minnesota Twins

(2011 Record 63-99)

The Twins had the worst record in the AL in 2011, and won't surprise anyone if they do it again. The offense was pretty much powerless, and brought in Josh Willingham, who doesn't scare anyone anymore. There's a lot of guys that were once great, but have been brittle in recent years. Joe Mauer is back and supposedly healthy, and is always a threat to win the batting title, but he isn't going to have much more than 5-9 HR power. Justin Morneau could always bounce back to his old self, but that's doubtful. Ryan Doumit should be an upgrade at the DH spot. The pitching staff isn't great after Scott Baker, and he's already injured. Carl Pavano might not suck, but chances are he will. They have a pretty great ballpark, so they'll probably enjoy going to work each day, which is better than most of us can say. But don't expect them to win a lot actual baseball competitions.

Kansas City Royals

(2011 Record 71-91)

I've really been looking forward to writing this part of the preview. I know this blog is 75% sarcasm and 45% real information, but I really have wanted to the Royals part for a while now. The past 20 years or so have not been great for Kansas City, with only one winning season since 1993. But that's gonna change this year. I'm serious. Pay attention. First, Alex Gordon is finally starting to come around in LF. People thought he might be a bust, but the former first round pick has a solid arm in the outfield, and is a doubles machine. The other corner outfielder, Jeff Francoeur, also was top 5 in the league in doubles, and has a cannon, but has more flaws than Gordon. DH Billy Butler may not play the field, but he doesn't have to. He's one of the best pure DH's in the game. The true star on this offense is 1B Eric Hosmer. Commonly regarded as a top 3 prospect in the Majors, and the future of the Designated Drinkers (my fantasy team), this is supposed to be his breakout year. Last year he batted .293 and hit 19 HR in less than a full season. Don't be surprised when he hits 30+ HR, 100+ RBI, and has 15+ SB. Stud status. The pitching isn't great, but it may not always have to be. Jonathon Sanchez isn't amazing, but he's pretty good. Luke Hochevar like's SabrMetrics, so I like that about him. Joakim Soria is one of the best Closers in the league, so the Royals can comfortable with a lead late in the game. This isn't a playoff team, but 82 wins might be in the cards, and that's worth celebrating in Kansas City.

The AL Central isn't going to be close this year. Like 2011, the Tigers should pretty much dominate the division. They were already the best team, and got a helluva lot better. The other teams are probably going to be better. But not nearly on the level of the Detroit team. There will only be one playoff team from the Central, despite the fact that there are 2 Wild Card spots this year.

Projections

1. Tigers- Should win the division handily. Might need to find one more above average player to add to the depth of the club. Definitely looking at 2012 as a "World Series or bust" kinda years. Don't be surprised if the Tigers add Cy Young, MVP, and World Series trophies to their collection.

2. Royals- Unlike other teams with young talent, the young talent in Kansas City is already really good. Hosmer is going to put up All Star numbers for the foreseeable future and Mike Moustakas at 3B is only 23 and highly rated. Expect the Royals to compete with the Tigers in 2014.

3. White Sox- Not good. Not bad. Not fun. They don't even have Ozzie Guillen to make people pay attention anymore. There's good players around here, but there's some subpar ones too. There's some young blossoming talent, and some guys who might need a walker after the year.

4. Indians- Cleveland might end up with a similar record as last year, but that record shouldn't get them 2nd place again. Not getting worse seems to be the plan here, but that isn't going to get tot he postseason.

5. Twins- I'm sure there are some really nice guys in this organization. I mean, everyone seems to love Joe Mauer. And I bet it's really nice to see a game at Target Field on a nice Minneapolis Saturday. I bet it's really nice being a Twins fan. Nobody has the heart to rub it in your face that your team sucks.

AL Be...West

Despite living roughly 2.3 million miles from Seattle, I've been a hunormous fan since I was 11, and have followed all the West teams very closely. Every year I look forward to doing the American League West preview. This year is a little different. I usually save the West for last, but this year I want to get it over with. I did my NL preview from East to West, so I'll backtrack for the AL. The words you are about to read were very difficult for me, but I did not cry during the production of this post. There's no crying baseball, Goddammit!

AL West

Oakland Athletics

(2011 Record 74-88)

Maybe you saw the movie Moneyball. Maybe you actually got off your lazy ass and got the book, just to sit on your lazy ass to read it. Go play sports people!!! Anyway, this team isn't like the 2002 version. It's similar in it's makeup, though. This year's team lacks big name players and doesn't boast a high payroll. Sadly, unlike that team, they don't have Tejada, Hudson, Mulder, Zito, Swisher, Bonderman, and Koch. I'm not saying the A's are going to be the worst team; because there is talent to be found here. As of this writing, the A's are a .500 team. They're 1-1 with a +2 run differential. Hooray success! The offense was pretty bad in 2011, but the guys who were old and sucked are gone, and the guys who were young and kinda sucked are older and, theoretically, less sucky. SS Cliff Pennington and 2B Jamille Weeks are each a year older and and a combined 921 PA smarter. Remember Coco Crisp? He's gonna be fielding like a G in LF. Rookie Yoenis Cespedes is a question mark because he was a stud in Cuba, but has yet to face MLB pitching. Speaking of MLB pitching, the A's employ guys who do that. Brandon McCarthy is the ace of the staff, and one of my personal favorite players. Like me, and other dorks nationwide, he uses SabrMetrics. He uses stats to figure out what he can improve upon. Brett Anderson is a stud SP, but is quite unhealthy. Not a bad team, but far from dominant.

Texas Rangers

(2011 Record 96-66)

After back-to-back World Series appearances (with no trophies, suckas) there's not really any reason to expect a drop off. Losing C.J. Wilson is a loss that they can't exactly replace, but they sure tried. Nolan Ryan's club won the Japanese sensation Yu Darvish sweepstakes. Darvish and ex-closer phenom Neftali Feliz could both be amazing or bad. Luckily, they still have Colby Lewis, Matt Harrison, and Derek Holland in the rotation. They're above average to good. That's 5 guys that are all better than most. The bullpen will take a slight hit without Feliz, but should be pretty good. The Ballpark in Arlington doesn't keep fly balls in the park, but the guys in this lineup could hit anywhere. Josh Hamiliton is maybe the most talented player in the league, but also the most fragile, missing 143 games in the 3 seasons since his MVP. Nelson Cruz crushes the ball, but also his muscles, bones, and tendons are made of glass. Elvis Andrus and Ian Kinsler make up arguably the best middle infield combo in the Majors when defense is taken into account. Mitch Moreland and Adrian Beltre round out the best defensive infield in the league. Mike Napoli and and Michael Young are both very good hitters. Jesussss, this is a good team. Almost as good as...

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, California, USA, Earth, Milky Way Galaxy

(2011 Record 86-76)

The Angels! See how I did the "..." thing? It's called building suspense. You know who mastered the whole suspense thing? That Albert Pujols guy. Speaking of, he's now a member of the Angels. The Angels not only made a splash in the offseason, they did a canonball, off the high dive, onto a fat kid, then got out and did it again. First, they made it rain and dropped a 10 yr./$240 million contract on his head. Boom! Lineup goes from zero to hero. Then, like the SAME DAY, they checked the books, found some scrilla laying around, and said, "Hey, C.J. Wilson, tired of losing World Series'?" $77.5 million over 5 years made it happen. Annnd there it is. Best pitching staff and super lineup. Surrounding Pujols isn't the most frightening offense, but there is talent there. Howard "Don't call me Howie" Kendrick led the team in OPS and there's no reason to believe he won't be better this year. Mark Trumbo hit 29 HR, but played 1B, could be a great DH, but Kendrys Morales is back after a broken leg, and had a .924 OPS in 2010. Can't move Morales to Catcher because they signed Chris Iannetta, who is an on-base machine, to start behind the plate. Vernon Wells kidna sucked last year, but never fear, the amazing Mike Trout is here... eventually. There's too much hitting talent, which aint bad. The pitchers make up arguably the best staff in the Majors. Jared Weaver, Cy Young candidate. Dan Haren, Cy Young candidate. C.J. Wilson, Cy Young candidate. Ervin Santana sometimes accidentally throws no-hitters. Drew Walden and Scott Downs hold down the bullpen. What does all this good stuff get you? Hopefully, bad karma.

Seattle Mariners

(2011 Record 67-95)

I should be stoked to write about my favorite team, right? I mean, I get to lay some phat knowledge on you people. The fact is, you guys, I'm dreading this. So you know what? I'm gonna write this part how I wish. Let's start with the guys who bat. Chone Figgins had a down year in 2011, but he says he's not comfortable batting anything but leadoff. He's batting leadoff this year. He's totally poised to repeat 2009's 114 R, 42 SB, performance.* With Chone holding down the leadoff spot, Ichiro is going to move to third hitter. He's always batting practice power, so he's a good candidate to rack up the RBI's that Chone will provide.** Dustin Ackley at 2B and Jesus Montero are each the best young player at their respective positions. These two, with Justin Smoak and Michael Saunders, are the future of the team.*** 2010 Cy Young winner Felix Hernandez is going to be amazing. Duh. After him Jason Vargas has tossed some great ball games over the year and Hector Noesi may be foreign, but he should surprise some people.**** Brandon League had 42 saves a year ago, and with all the wins the M's should rack up this year, expect something like 50 saves. All in all, this is a team that should be in contention all season long.*****

*Chone Figgins is awful. He should bat 9th, not 1st. No he should not be a pro player. He batted .188 last year and is 33. And his name is Sean. But spells is Chone. Dumb. This is an official $5 bounty.

**Ichiro has never batted anywhere except the leadoff spot. He's 37 years old. He's coming off his worst season ever. He's now batting in the most important spot in the lineup. He has only 1 season with more than 11 HRs. He's my favorite player of all time.

***Ackley and Montero really are amazing. The quartet are the future. Sadly.

****Vargas and Noesi aren't that good. And they're the #2 and #3 starters. That makes 4/5 not good starters. Go Felix!

*****This team will not win a lot of games. More than 67, but not more than 75.

The AL West should be quite exciting this year if you like close races. There should be 2 races within the division. There's a 2 horse race for first, and an equally close, if less exciting and talented, race for third. Expect the World Series champion to come from the West.

Projections

1. Angels- They're just too good. They could play a 4 game series and have 4 starters that are expected to win. If they have 4 guys that aren't supposed to lose, they should win like 130 games. Aint nobody gonna match 130 wins. Not even this guy. 103 W's.

2. Texas- Will be in the hunt for the Wild Card. There's a lot of good teams in the AL, but few can hit like these fellers. They won't be too far behind the Angels. Lucky for these guys, they get like 40 games against Seattle and Oakland.

3. Seattle- Ha. Screw you Oakland, this is my blog. But really, the M's are better. There's a lot of future talent that's coming through. Last year was their growing up year for a couple guys. 2014 should be when the Mariners get back in playoff contention.

4. Oakland- Just a little behind the Mariners in the rebuilding process. There's young guys with oodles of potential, but nobody that's a known MLB hitter. They just have nobody with stand out talent right now. Unless Manny Ramirez is good after his 50 game suspension. If he's back to normal, slide Oakland into 3rd. Dammit.

National League West

(The new face of the NL West)

Look, people, I'm well aware that I dropped the ball on this MLB preview thing. In my defense, the guys who typically do stuff like this are getting paid or are given free ice cream or something. I'm currently broke and my sweet tooth is still aching, so you know I don't get those benefits. So, I'm sorry, to you the reader, and to my keyboard because it hasn't been touched in 2 weeks, and that's not how a healthy relationship works.

But enough about me. Let's talk about baseball. The National League West is always close in September and this year shouldn't be too different. This is a division chock full of stars and well run organizations, so there's a lot of good stuff to be said about these teams. The challenge, for me, will be to find things these teams do wrong, so that I can make witty observations about said teams. Anyway, I got the whole AL after this, so let's get moving.

NL West

Colorado Rockies

(2011 Record 73-89)

For whatever reason, I don't remember the Rockies being so bad in 2011. I knew they weren't a playoff team, but my stupid ol brain has their 2011 record at around 82-79. But that is wrong. Apparently, the Rockies were pretty awful last year. 73 wins aint good. Sadly, 2012 is going to look pretty similar to 2011. Colorado has 2 elite level superstars, with stellar nicknames. Carlos Gonzalez (CarGo,) in left field, and Troy Tulowitzki (Tulo), at SS, are going to be All-Stars. The biggest problem facing Colorado is that an MLB team is comprised of 25 men, not 2. After these two, the lineup isn't going to hit the ball very well. Pitching in Colorado is hard for anyone because of the altitude, but it's especially hard when you're not a very good MLB pitcher. This Rockies team lacks "good" pitchers. On a brighter note, their ace has the coolest name in the Bigs. Jhoulys Chacin (Yuh-hoo-less Cha-seen) is actually pretty good, and pretty young, and pretty high above sea level. Don't expect much outta this squad.

San Diego Padres

(2011 Record 71-91)

Hey look, a team that wasn't as good as the Rockies. At least, not record wise. They were missing Mat Latos for the first months of the 2011 season, and he's very good at throwing baseballs so other pro athletes miss. What's that? You say he's not on San Diego no mo? Welll shit. He was traded for Edison Volquez of the Reds in a very rare trade. Not often are 2 MLB caliber players, of the same position, traded in the same league. This just screams "bad chemistry guys." The rest of the rotation is either promising, but young, or bad. Notice that I neglected to mention good pitching. Luckily, PetCo is a pitcher's park, to say the least. That'll artificially help these feller's ERA's. Hold on, don't the Padres other guys have to hit in PetCo, too? Yes, yes they do. Well, they'll be asked to, but looking at the roster, not many guys in the lineup are very good at hitting. Since homeruns are a rarity in San Diego, maybe there's some rhyme or reason to the lack pop in this lineup. Catcher Nick Hundley has failed to live up to his potential, but at 28, there's still a small chance he'll put it together. At 3B Chase Headley was supposed to be the next big thing, and he's only 27, so he's peaking, but he's got competition in the organization. Cameron Maybin in Center is one of the few top tier prospects that truly bounce around the Bigs. He's only 24, so his power will keep increasing (not that he'll hit more than 15 HR playing for SD), and his 40 SB speed will be valuable in that monstrous outfield. Maybin will be their only All-Star, trust me.

Arizona Diamondbacks

(2011 Record 94-68)

The D'Backs shocked the world in 2011. Well, maybe not the world. I can't imagine many people over in Lithuania care much about Arizona baseball, but you know what I mean. Going into the playoffs, I thought Arizona could make a World Series run. You know, I shouldn't tell you people that stuff. I meant to say, I thought they'd get put out in the first round. Keep believing what I tell you...Anyway, I don't think the 2012 version of this team is much worse, but I do think the reasons they succeeded last year won't be as big of a factor. We'll start with the baseball hitters. Outfield won't be a problem. Justin Upton in RF is amazing. His OPS+ was 141, which shows he can hit like a boss, but he also stole 21 bases. Oh, and he's only 24. I wouldn't rule out MVP votes for Upton, and expect him to win the MVP in 2014, 2015, and 2018. You heard it here first. Rookie 1B Paul Goldschmidt, while unproven, is good and could hit 30 HR. The pitching is what really shocked people in 2011. Ian Kennedy went 21-4 with a 2.88 ERA. There is no way that will happen again. Daniel Hudson is the real prospect and he will be better than Kennedy in 2012. His command is better and he's younger. They added Trevor Cahill from Oakland, who was good and should be better in the NL. JJ Putz, if healthy, is a dominant closer. If Kennedy regresses, the additions of Cahill, Goldschmidt, and Putz should keep them in the race.

San Francisco Giants

(2011 Record 86-76)

Not quite the follow up to their 2010 World Series, but there were some setbacks. This is still a very good team that will win a good amount of games. Their biggest weakness last year was their ability to hit balls. 29th in Runs, 28th in BA, 29th in OBP, and 26th in SLG% is horrendous. When teams hit like that, they usually win around 70 games, not almost 90. This season should be a little better with the return of some key guys. Buster Posey, superduperstar Catcher, has learned to block the plate without breaking bones. Pablo Sandoval is a stud at 3B who hit .315/.357/.552, with a 153 OPS+, but missed 45 games last year. Brandon Belt is a top tier prospect, but struggled early last year and was sent to the Minors. Eventually Belt will be a very good 1B, and San Fran hopes that's sooner than later. The hurlers on this club are going to be responsible for a lot of the success in 2012. Tim Lincecum is one of the top 5 pitchers in the MLB, but Matt Cain is the one people are predicting to have a great 2012 campaign. Madison Bumgarner is only 22 and already has a 4-1 K/BB ratio in 21 starts. Bumgarner is going to dominate this division for the foreseeable future, or until he signs with the Yankees or Red Sox in 2018. Brian Wilson is eccentric, but by God can he close a ball game. The rotation has 3 stars, but the other 2 members have both been All-Stars (Vogelsong somehow made his first AS Game at age 33 last year). Expect this team to be better in 2012 than 2011, which is all they can ask for.

Los Angeles Dodger

(2011 Record 82-79)

Before researching this here paragraph, I almost forgot that the Dodgers actually played baseball. They've been all over the news for the wrong reasons. Ownership news has never really interested me because I can't relate to that business. I've played a lot of baseball in my day, but I'm yet to put in a $2 Billion bid for a sports team. So, moving on. It's not very often that a team has the MVP and Cy Young winner, but fails to make the playoffs, but that could happen this year in LA. Matt Kemp might be the best baseball player in the world right now. 39 HR, 126 RBI, 40 SB and 171 OPS+ is a stat line for the ages, and that was Kemp in 2011. After Kemp, there's not a lot to be scared of. Andre Ethier and James Loney has steadily gotten worse since 2009. SS Dee Gordon is a young lad who might be the fastest person in the league. He had 24 SB in 56 games, which translates to like 80 steals. Pitching will be either great, or bad. Clayton Kershaw is the early NL Cy Young favorite, seeing as he won the thing in 2011. After his 21-5, 2.28 ERA, and 248 K Triple Crown winning campaign, it's hard to predict he'll be even better, but I think he will be. Javy Guerra closing behind Kenley Janson and Mike MacDougal is as more than reliable in late innings. The problem will be having a lead in the 7th inning on days that Kershaw doesn't take the mound.

Like the past few years, this is going to be a close race. Last year, the Diamondbacks won the division by 8 games. I don't see that happening again. This is technically a 5 team division, but unless the other teams do something major during the season, this is a 2 horse race. It's interesting to observe the makeup of the teams in the NL West. There's 5 Cy Young candidates, and 4 MVP candidates, but 0 World Series candidates in this division.

Projections

1. Giants- This team has 3 Cy Young caliber arms, so expect them to not give up a ton of runs. To win the division, like last year, they will need to score more runs. They were better than exactly 2 teams in 2011 in that department, so expect that to improve.

2. Diamondbacks- Arizona's squad is built just like the Giants, but slightly less good in almost every aspect. Amazing front of the rotation, but not as proven as the Giants. The Giants can't compete with Upton, but can match them at every other position. It'll be close, and could go either way, but the D'Backs need another year, and another bat. But hey, that's what they said last year.

3. Dodgers- I think the fact that they can't compete for second, and shouldn't have competition for third in the division is perfect. They are in the middle. And they should be a middle-of-the-road (Are there hyphens in that? Middleoftheroad apparently aint a word) team again this year. But hey, they should bring a handful of individual awards, so that's cool.

4. Rockies- I was on the Rockies 3 times in Little League, and we were always pretty good. Too bad that doesn't help the real team. I give them the non-last place nod because of the big names on the team. Tulo, Cargo, YuhWhoLees tickle my fancy and it's my blog. So ha.

5. Padres- What's a Padre? Amiright? The only time I plan on caring about the outcome of Padres games in during Interleague play. And that's only because they are the Mariner's geological rival. No, you aren't the only person who thinks that's dumb, but when two teams suck, the head honchos make em play so that they don't feel left out.

Obligatory Peyton Post

Today in Indianapolis, we've had the best weather of 2012. Not a cloud in the sky. Temperature hovering around 70. Nothing to do but hang out and cook chili. And it was starting to taste damn good. While we took a break to let it simmer, I flip on the ol tube, which conveniently was left on ESPN, and I get the saddest news I've gotten since Reggie retired. Our lord and savior has left us. Peyton Manning is not going to be a member of the Indianapolis Colts this time tomorrow for the first time in his professional career. I don't know how Peyton earned extra cash in high school, but I'm pretty sure the Colts have been his only employer. His only Got damn job he's ever had is throwing touchdowns on my TV. Now who's gonna throw touchdowns? Andrew Luck? RG3? *gulp* Curtis Painter? You know what? I don't wanna think about that right now. This post is dedicated to the amazing human being I was fortunate enough to grow up idolizing.

Peyton Manning has been as influential in my life as anyone. Peyton Manning single handedly changed the ethos of a major American city. Before Peyton got here, the sporting culture in Indiana was basketball. If you were from Lafayette or anywhere more north you were a Bulls and Boilermakers fan. From Indianapolis to Bloomington, the residents were all for the Pacers and Hoosiers. Once Peyton turned the 3-13 Colts into the 13-3 Colts, the state of Indiana became the Colts' state. Before Peyton, Indianapolis was an afterthought. Indy was an afterthought not only in the football world, but in the minds of people everywhere. Now, we've got a Super Bowl trophy, fans around the world, and a brand new stadium. Hell, he got us a whole new downtown. We hosted the best Super Bowl in the history of ever. Indianapolis named a state of the art medical center "Peyton Manning Children's Hospital." A HOSPITAL FOR TINY HUMANS IS NAMED AFTER THE MAN!

We've seen him be a goofer in advertisements. We've seen him become a team captain. We've seen him become an All-Pro. We've seen him become a 4 time MVP. We've seen him become a champion. We've seen Peyton wow us time and time again, but the most important thing I've seen him do is elevate an entire metropolitan area from obscurity to relevancy. That, in my mind, is amazing and the reason I have to suppress tears because my hometown hero is leaving my hometown. I, nay, we the people of Indianapolis, will always love you Peyton Manning.

Hey, we've always got the memories. And Youtube: